One of the things that came about from my surgery, was my new zest for life. This was, obviously, expected considering I would have more energy, be healthier, etc. What was expected, and maybe it should have been, was how my outlook on life was going to change my outlook on the relationships in my life. From co-workers to deep-rooted friendships to family, I have a new outlook on all the relationships in my life.
Prior to surgery, I used to look at co-workers as just that, co-workers. I had a mentality of, I am at work to work not make friends. Since surgery though, that has changed greatly and I have a small select group of people that I actually consider to be friends. This has made work a fun place to go and somewhere I do not mind being at. I feel it has also made me a better co-worker to be around because I no longer have this chip on my shoulder.
I also have taken a deep hard look at some of my deep-rooted friendships. The people I turn to for advice, to talk to, and turns out I have kept some pretty toxic people in my life. In 2018, I made a promise to myself that I was going to be the best version of myself possible. To do this, I had to face hard realities that some people just no longer have a place in my life
Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny
I have never read a sentence that spoke to me so clearly. But letting go is so hard. How do you walk away from 5+ years of friendship without feeling guilty? How do you walk away from someone who has been there for you? How do you walk away from someone who is going through some difficult times and not feel like a total asshole? These questions keep me up at night because I had to do just that. I had to walk away.
The truth is there is no right way to do it. I tried talking it out but that only made me feel guilty and I wound up talking with them again. This time, I just blocked them at 3am from all social media and texting (thankfully iPhone lets me block numbers from calling or texting). I know it is the right thing for me, I know it is better off this way, but I feel so guilty and wrong for doing it how I had to and when I had to.
When is it the right time to walk away? That is easy. The right time is when you realize that person is no longer a part of life going forward. That does not change the impact they had on your life in the past. At one time this friendship was meaningful and beneficial. Now it is one-sided, with me being the friend and them playing the victim every day. The right time to walk away is when you tell yourself repeatedly that it is time to walk away.